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Aug. 29th, 2006 @ 02:11 am SUMMER HIGHLIGHTS
- PRIDE WEEK:
BEST FUCKING TIME OF THE YEAR, AND THE HAPPIEST!!! if it wasnt for that walk through the village Friday night of pride weekend i would of never met Steven, Much thanks to kamryn for comming with me and knowing everyone ^_^, But alas pride had its DRAMATIC side >_< .. LETS NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!! anyways pride fucking ruled, and in the end i walked away with a bf, and i love him like no other!!!!! <33333

-Family trip to isreal!:
. . . .. Yeah i fully diddnt go with them, i decided to stay in Canada for the summer and be with Steven, These 2 weeks were the turning point to everything this year, all these big plans for the summer, i backed out of 99% of them just to be with him, Alas these 2 weeks included many large feuds and a serious error in communications.

-A week in richmond hEll:
Yeah there was one week where i got sick and me and steven broke it off for like a week and then Andrew (his friend and someone i once called a friend) picked shit with me and wanted to fight, i turned away from that and have not been back to toronto since,

-Rave at the funhaus:

I diddnt go in but in line i saw my ex and ran

TO BE CONTINUED AFTER MY ANXIETY ATTACKS OVER!
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Aug. 29th, 2006 @ 02:07 am NO ENTRY SINCE JANUARY
I Have not updated this since january, so i decided nows the time to post an entry,
and its going to be 2 strong words.....



GROW UP.

everyone.

<3

p.s i use myspace now : www.myspace.com/icanbeyourboitoi , ADD IT
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Jan. 31st, 2006 @ 12:58 am Down
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Best Of You-Foo Fighters
I Am Hurting So Badly,
SEED has finally drawn to a close,i finally can say i have nothing good happening in my life, i am no longer turning it around, i started smoking again today and SEED dispersed, you can obviously assume the show at the opera house has been canceled,
ive failed everyone and i have let everyone down, Especially my family,
No Education
No Band
Sparse Amounts Of TRUE Friends
No Life (In the way that i waste away sleeping)
ETC

I am wasting away slowly,
My Health Is Slowly Going,
I Have More Problems With My Body Then I Can Even Keep A Count On
I Have Numerous mental and physicall diseases
And i just sleep all day

Today i wondered around richmondhill aimlessly for 7 hours trying to find myself, but i failed, i dont know what to do anymore, i dont understand why im being punished by the man upstairs,
And on top of all this i wasnt allowed to see jared and THAT HURTS when ur stopped from seeing ur best friend cus your apperantly a "Trigger"
AND IF DISEASE ISNT BAD ENOUGH!!! i am MADLY obsessed with a guy and have been for too long, its starting to scare me, i usually am over a crush withing 4 months, its been 6 and my intrest hasnt dropped, AT ALL its grown, FUCK Man love is a disease on its own

Anywho its like 1am now and i think its time to go wonder aimlessley again until 3rd watch comes on at 4 am

Much love to those i have let down:
My friends,Family,Band,Fans,G-d,Etc

Madt
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Jan. 28th, 2006 @ 11:54 pm Wow its been a while since my last entry
Current Mood: sickSick: With Larengitis
Current Music: The Happy Song-Pagoda
Okay First Off Ive Been So Busy Lately That I Never Got Around To Updating My Account....Heck Ive Been So Busy I Even Forgot I Had An Account Until I Saw Lindy On Hers, And Then I Thought Oh Shit Man I Have A Live Journal Account...Lol...anywho theres my little story, as well i feel like that keeping a journal is a)bad luck and b)bad karma
just because Everytime I Wrie a journal entry something bad happens, ever since i fell in to this cycle of guy obsession and became a love crazy bride-wannabe i just dont see anything good in this.....


BUT IN HAPPY NEWS!
I JUST BOUGHT A HOME RECORDING STUDIO AND ITS ALREADY TAKEN ME OVER 2 MONTHS TO SET UP AND ITS FINALLY DONE!XD (2000$ Later!)


As Well SEED is playing the opera house on feb 11th at 4:00-1:00am
its our BIGGEST show ever....1000 People!!!
To be honest im kinda scared and nervous but anxious too!
i dunno if were ready for this, we dont even have a permanent guitarist and the one we have to fill in knows NONE of the songs!
WHAT DO I DO?!
im so scared!

oh and im going back to school second semester, ive decided that i have no choice but to give into this sick materialistic society of ours but only because every day i sleep in till 6:00pm and i dont go to bed till 6:00am and its taking a toll on me, i really miss seeing natural light,
anyways i should get back to work and whatnot

CATCH YOU ALL ON THE FLIPPITY FLOP!
P.s This Is Day 8 Of My Pathetic Attempt to quit smoking in which i know i will fail miserably and fall.SO PEOPLE PLACE BETS ON ME!
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Sep. 28th, 2005 @ 12:19 am We Are The Lucky Ones
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: I dont wanna be-Gavin degraw
Ive Never Fallen this bad......im always getting hurt everytime and i finally figured it out,
Im annoying, Im stupid, im a total idiot!, and im too open, i let everyone know everything and i keep nothing to myself. if i could i would turn back time so it couldnt of happened and im completely fed up with people telling me i deserve better because i dont and more than that i dont want anyone better, i want him, but he wont answer my emails, he blocked me on msn, and he is obviously annoyed with me, its not that i feel used but i feel...i dunno empty i never get used to being alone and all you people out there that have a boyfriend or girlfriend, be fucking greatfull and never EVER take themm for granted because they love you whether they tell you up front or if they just argue with you everyday its all the same, cherish what you have got, and never take it for granted. i stare up at the ceiling and pray to g0d EVERY night to please not let me go alone another 4 years, and to help me find mr. right. its so hard being gay at this age because everyone is a closet case and all i want is someone older and out but i scare them all off because i come across clingy and im not gunna blame it on msn anymore because its completely me, well not really when you get to know me (as many of you have) the clingyness goes away and you see me for what i really am, and whether you like me or not take this advice because at least you dont cry everynight because you have no one to share your life withm, if a guy/girl likes u ask them out because you never know maybe it can work, just try. and dont ever give up on love because love will never guve up on you... well i guess unless your me or any of the other lucky queers out there at this age that have this same problem (which seems to be none)
with(OUT) love
Madt
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Sep. 22nd, 2005 @ 12:37 am WEEEEEEEEEEEE NOT SICK NO MORE
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: Wake Me up when september ends-GRRR GREENDAY(radio)
so today i finally was able to eat...FOOD!
i woke up at 9:45 and burned a cd then cleaned up my basement and put up some new barriers down there, refilled the fog machine, replaced the burnt out coloured lights, put in new fixtures,added to my kickass soundsystem, then played guitar. lol thhen i biked down to the school picked up some stuff hung out with andy mark danyell nina rebecca and peeps and then went to IDA and bought cough medicine...IN LOLLIPOP FORM!:D
then i had to bike my ass home.
so i get home and i hear the BEST FUCKING NEWS EVER!.....NEW NIRVANA CD!
francis bean cobain is doing the cover art and she named it: Sliver
so it has 3 new songs and some cuts from the with the lights out box set, AND GUESS WHO THE FUCKS BACK IN JAIL!!!!!!!!?! COURTNEY LOVE!!!!
no suprise tho lol
so now im hosting a party in my basement september 30th mainly just dance music tho maybe a bit of rock but not much.
talk to me if you wanna come or know more. hmmm i wonder how many people will drop acid this time... HAHAHAHAHAHA good ol mat giving ppl coke and acid! (not me other mat haah)
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Sep. 19th, 2005 @ 11:55 am TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH TO POST AN ENTRY!
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Sexy boy-air
OK FIRST ENTRY IN LIKE A MONTH!
lol so saturday night me and the gurls hit up club 5ive,
ended up going home with a couple of e-mails but heres the story in point form

-Got exhausted from dancing, sat on couch by lighting booth.
-got water poured on me by sexi lighting dude (drew)
-grinded with some guy, drew thot it wud be funny to put the lights on us
-everyone was watching i flipped haha
-went back to the couch,
-drew tried to get me in the back room (i shudda gone)
-drew gave me a lap dance
-drew gave me a kiss
-drew threw his cock into lindys face
-drew LICKED janessa
-drew is hot.:)
-going for dinner and a movie with drew on thursday
-going to get kinky
-HAHAHAH TWINS UR INVITED TO OUR WEDDING!

Went to school for half the day today (felt like puking so i came home)
so im sitting in the square and these 3 guys were walking by and there like look look thats the guy who wore the dress "FAGGOT! STUPID FUCKING FAGGOT FREAK WEARING A DRESS FAG! YOUR DISGUSTING QUEER!" Then they started throwing shit at me and i got hit by a water bottle. shows how scared people are of reality that THEY HAVE NO LOOKS AND THAT IM SO MUCH HOTTER AND CAN GET MORE ACTION THEN THEM, like the cussing is one thing but chucking shit at me is a different story. anyways i have no friends in that school anyways all the kids are fucking jerks to me.
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Jul. 17th, 2005 @ 05:36 pm HOMO-HOP WAS FICKING AWSOME!
Current Mood: hyperQueer as Fuck
Current Music: Dont You Wish Your Girlfriend Was A Freak Like Me-Tori
Woah its been a while since ive updated my LJ lol
ok well last night was FUCKING AMAZING thank you SOOOO FUCKING MUCH Taylor And Fran for an AMAZING TIME!
So we went to T-DOT AT 5:00 THEN WE WENT CLUBBING AFTER AT CLUB 5IVE AND IT WAS SOOO FUCKING GOOD!
Taylor Forced Me To Dance........BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT WAS PRICELESS but i ended up danvcing all night long and i still cant feel my legs lol its a good thing i got that wheelchair from mat edwards lol its being used wisely.
but yeh it was so good this saturday is all ages college night there and i URGE every one of you all to come with
but yeh the night was great i have to thank taylor more than fran tho cos me and him danced for over 3 hours nonstop and then yeh he was with me most of the night (he spent the weekend here) and yeh fran was hanging with these 3 emo kids who just payed 5$ to sit in a corner all night and didnt move once it was funni lol, then we came to my house after (me and taylor) and just were SOOO FUCKING TIRED but we ended up getting so wired and staying up till 5:30ish:P
lol
anywho
EVERYONE COME WITH ON SATURDAY!
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Jul. 7th, 2005 @ 12:13 pm ~Fucked~
Current Mood: hyperoff
Current Music: Cross Eyed Marry-Jethro Tull~
Ooooook so heres the shiyat yo!
My Best friend/basically sister Kara and her girlfriend who is alot older than her want a baby, so of all people they choose me the fucked up bastard faggot to be the "donor" they say i wont have to do anything and i dont have to pay for anything and i can come see it any time i want and that i will be called the father. so yeah i dont know but i think ill do it, but not for myself but to make Kara happy cos thats all that matters to me.
Yesterday i went to markham and hung out with shawn.
he really likes my dress........YOUR NOT GETTING IT BIYATCH! MUAHAHAHAHA!
he also has a fucking amazing bed lol its...watery..
so now its back to planning FOOTSTOCK,
I need to know who wants to play and if anyone wants to volunteer cos its well neeeded.!!!!!!
Grrrrr i hate my house, it is infested like INFESTED TO THE MAXXCORE WITH EARWIGS!!!!!!!
and ANTS!
and MILLIPEEDES!
AND MICE!!!!
but anywho im prolly boring you all
PEACE NIGGA G!
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Jun. 28th, 2005 @ 02:16 pm Bored
Current Mood: devioustouchy
Current Music: Like a prayer-Mad'house (madonna remix)
Yay I Finally got a nexopia acount *smilez*
anywho i guess the most "Exciting" news today is that:
Im Getting attacked on the streets!
theres a kid named "Jeff Pope" thats going to take a baseball bat to me cos im gay and i found out hes beating his gf, so now that he cant beat her no more he wants to beat me cos im queer yay,
anywho i guess ill juss face the music.
I MISSED QUEER AS FOLK AGAIN LAST NIGHT!!!!!:@
So i downloaded the episode:)
BUT ITS NOT THE SAME AS WATCHING ON TV!!!!:(
So this week im going clubbing at club 5ive (its an amazing gay club) so im getting as many ppl as possible together to come with
it shud be fun i think the door cover is 10$ and so far ive got
lindy
janessa
toni
and alex going
CMON PPL IT SHALL BE FUNNN!
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